Recommended books
For all recommended books, please visit The Loving Avoidant Bookshop page.
Bookshop is an alternative to Amazon that distributes sales among small independent bookstores and kicks a % back for directing those sales. Thank you for supporting!
For a general overview of attachment, The Loving Avoidant specifically advises against the popular book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller as even its author states it is heavily biased against those struggling with avoidant attachment.
Far better alternatives are:
Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World by Ann Kelley and Sue Marriott
Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime by Julie Menanno
The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships by Diane Poole Heller
Recommended podcasts
Recommended websites
A monthly in-depth article about avoidant attachment, plus a monthly advice column where I respond to a Patron-submitted query. Subscribe to access more than 100 posts as of summer 2024.
The preeminent place to find extensive and empirically backed research on what it takes to make relationships as good as they can be. Truly a gift to this world.
The Avoidant Attachment sub on Reddit
Find support and insight, and offer your own. This is a well-managed subReddit that is supportive of those with avoidant or disorganized styles, and has a zero-tolerance policy for avoidant bashing and other behaviors that make online spaces intolerable or useless for us—you will not get overrun or shouted down here!
Full disclosure, though this is a reasonably good overview of avoidance, especially for those with a dismissive pattern, I have several points of disagreement with the author of this page and find a bit of a deficit of validation for avoidants in some places.