Recommended books

For my top recommended books, please visit my Bookshop page.

Bookshop is an alternative to Amazon that distributes sales among small independent bookstores, and kicks a % back to me for directing those sales. Thank you for supporting!

Recommended podcasts

Recommended websites

  • The Loving Avoidant Patreon

    A monthly in-depth article about avoidant attachment, plus a monthly advice column where I respond to a Patron-submitted query. Subscribe to access more than 100 posts as of summer 2024.

  • The Gottman Institute

    The preeminent place to find extensive and empirically backed research on what it takes to make relationships as good as they can be. Truly a gift to this world.

  • The Avoidant Attachment sub on Reddit

    Find support and insight, and offer your own. This is a well-managed subReddit that is supportive of those with avoidant or disorganized styles, and has a zero-tolerance policy for avoidant bashing and other behaviors that make online spaces intolerable or useless for us—you will not get overrun or shouted down here!

  • Free to Attach

    Full disclosure, though this is a reasonably good overview of avoidance, especially for those with a dismissive pattern, I have several points of disagreement with the author of this page and find a bit of a deficit of validation for avoidants in some places.

Recommended Instagram accounts

@thesecurerelationship

@forloveweheal

@james _fish_gill

@thebehaviourtherapist

@anxiousheartsguide

@yourdiagnonsense

@elizabeth.gillette

@decodingcouples

@youloveandyoulearn

@haileypaigemagee

@coaching.with.shabana

@melissaparkssays

@sitwithsharon

@therapyjeff

@anxiouslovecoach